I don't know what happened....

sighhh... had a bit of run in with chris about tuesday ktv session. Actually it was something small and i didn't mean to mean... i really didn't mean it that way but i guess the sms i sent sounded curt i think.

i cannot help it if i feel insecure with friends sometimes.. and a lot of times, i don't end up spending the amount of time with them cos i usually am filler of time or they always have to meet up with their boyfriends at the end of the day....
Do feel neglected sometimes but i'm not in the position to say this cos they don't owe me anything... oh well, too high expectations... For i rarely make back to back appointments with friends, most of the time, if i make appointment with a friend, i'll usually leave the whole day free for that person, cannot impose what i do on others... I know i know.. its very bad.. but cannot help it lah... really trying my best already and to be frank, i've been improving already.. i'm not so bothered and usually prepared for such situations to arise so that i won't be upset lah...

well, i nv really told any of my friends before that i hope they will not use me as a filler before any appointments be it bf or friends.. so HENG that i was so upfront about it with chris, and i guess he was affected by wat i said... so sorry man... really din mean too.. count yourself heng loh, i treat you like a good friend cos dare to be a bit more upfront about it.. no hard feelings i hope.. this is the reason why most of the time i keep quiet about my feelings on such issues cos it will somehow affect the relationship.. suddenly i just realised, maybe i'm quite a needy person... MAN this is bad... terrible.. sighhh...