A friend in denial

Sighh... just had a very very late night yesterday, slept at 5am this morning. Felt the faint coming when i forced myself to wake up this morning. As i'm typing this, i can see (my dark circles) and feel the after effect of lack of sleep. I was talking to tessa yesterday about her cannot make it boyfriend. We went through the issue during the day when i called her in the afternoon. And just when i thought the issue will tide over the weekend, they quarrelled again at 11plus. Oh my..

In the afternoon, i listened to the stories about how her bf scolds her. Sounds terrible! Some of the statements made by him are like (exact words)
a) if you wanna be my gf/my woman, you have to fully listen to me.
b) you know you cannot compare to my friends, when the 2 of you are put in line together, my friends will always be my first priority, you will never be my first priority, understand me?
c) i feel very restricted by you, my friends are better than you.
d)I treat you like my wife that's why i show all my true colours, i don't treat you like my girlfriend
The best one was he said, i have nothing to say to you anymore, don't disturb, why you always dsturb me? I discovered that when i'm out with my friends, i just have to off my hp, away from you, not listening or replying to your sms when i'm out with my friends, i find peace in doing so!"

Goodness gracious me! what hurting words. I don't know if he actually knows (or maybe he does) the kind of tramau that he is inflincting on her. All this verbal abuse and the mental stress that she has to go through. I was really surprised that she actually tolerated all this for she did not tolerate any of this in her last relations or any of her past relationships. So sad to see her being so upset but also how she is letting him treat her like this! She keep saying that she likes him for his character, that he has his good temper days when he treats her very nicely and gently. I may not have been a relationship before, but i think this is not the kind of treatment to any human being be it bf, gf or friends. Isn't? where's the basic respect? I know that love is a complicated thing, probably that's why i have not been able figure out what's all about love. But then again, this situation is really very bad at least from a 3rd party point of view and its not only me, her friends tell her the same things too..

Sigh.. so similiar to the abuse wife syndrome, a cycle which is repetitive and yet the abused person doesn't realised he or she has dropped into this cycle. The honey moon period then the change in temper/mood, next would actually be the actually hitting or physical abuse but in this case there isn't any, at least not yet. But nevertheless such psychological stress is definitely not healthy. I really worry that she will drop into depression. I hope not.. Don't let him treat you like that my dear friend! you really deserve better.. We ended the conversation with me asking her to sleep on the issue and cos she's a christian, i told her, maybe she should pray upon it and she'll probably find an answer soon.

And also i told her she just need to say a word and i will try my best to do what she think will help her in getting over him (if breaking up is the option) or helping her to keep to her decision, and she chooses to continue with him, i will continue to be aunt agony with occassional, i told you so situation which will arise in the future.